What's In the Paper Today?

This is the start of something I hope to do on a regular basis, and that is a review of my local paper, the Greensboro News & Record. Now, the paper likes to call itself simply the News & Record because some marketing suit told them they were alienating their surrounding communities and losing sales. This would be the same marketing idiots who persuaded them to change the paper's layout to match that of USA Today about 15 years ago, so we know how much credence to give that suggestion. Fortunately, for my eyes and stomach, the paper has drifted away from it's USA Todayification.

The paper is a fairly decent effort and it's flaws are mostly those related to its being owned by a soulless media conglomerate (Landmark) i.e. an editorial page dominated by right-wing and center-right columnists with the rare true liberal (Molly Ivins) thrown in; too many "fluff" stories that have no business on the front page of any newspaper; and accepting ads that try to look like news stories and failing to boldy mark them as ads.

The paper's virtues are solid enough, specifically it has embraced bloggers in a manner I have not seen in any other corporate newspaper. It solicts stories from local bloggers and makes it a point of policy to credit bloggers for story leads as well as quoting local blogs on the editorial page. The local reporters are decent sorts who are fairly professional with an appropriately adversarial relationship with the county government (a group mostly populated by hacks, prima donnas and the odd racist). The paper occasionally wanders into investigative journalism and when it does, it kicks ass.

The paper's main nemesis is a weekly NeoCon rag call The Rhino Times which has a devoute folllowing among the local Hitler Humpers who view the N&R as to the left of Stalin. I would consider doing a review of the RT, but that is a task for someone with a stronger stomach than mine.

So, let's look at today's paper:

Stories with no business on the front page

Elvis has left the building by Jonathan Jones - While the theft of an Elvis statue from the roof of a local business is certainly newsworthy (and humorous), it is hardly of compelling importance.

'G' movie not what it used to be (AP wire) - This is one of those "culture issue" stories whining about how G-rated movies now have lots of violence and sexual innuendo. This is, of course, an complaint about cartoons dating back to the Sixties when some people decided that their "precious darlings" might chuck their siblings off a cliff because they saw Wile E. Coyote fall off a cliff five times in 8 minutes and suffer nothing worse than "accordianitis". In other words, more histrionics from "we must protect the children" crowd who take all the fun out of childhood. These cretins would mandate laws requiring snakes and spiders to have orange warning labels affixed to them, rather than simply telling their snot-nosed issue to stop molesting the local fauna.

This story belonged in the "Life" section or buried in the back of the weekly TV listings supplement.

Stories that should have been on the front page

Senate closes doors for Iraq question (AP wrire, A3) - The ass-whuppin' dealt out to the Republican leadership was THE story yesterday, and for the editor to relegate it to a scant 8 column inches on page 3 is just wrong. The Dem leadership finally showed some spine and short-circuited BushCo's attempt to change the subject away from endangering national security and lying about Iraq. Arguably, the Alito announcement should have been on page 1 as well, but instead, it was banished to page 5.

Defense contractor deaths in Iraq triple in past months (wire story, A6) - One of the most important and under-reported stories of the Iraq invasion and occupation is the "privatization" of the war. Using civilian contractors (mercenaries) to perform jobs traditionally performed by the military has been an unmitigated disaster in terms of lives lost and in tax money wasted. Given that the vile mercenary firm Blackwater USA is based in our own state, you would think this would get more coverage. Currently a force of civilians equal in size to over half our military force are in the middle of a war zone. 428 have been killed, 3,963 have been wounded and yet this story only rates three paragraphs.

Editorial page roundup

Smothers deserves new term as mayor - An endorsement of Becky Smothers for mayor of High Point since her opponent has bothered to mount much of a campaign and he's one of these "no new taxes" nuts.

Build nuclear power plant, but 'where' is the question - An endorsement of new nuclear power plants in the state which trots out the same tired justifications that come straight from the Nuke industry talking points memo. Mention the drawbacks and dangers, but conclude that energy demands make building nukes inevitable and that, (all together now) WIND AND SOLAR SOURCES ARE POSSIBILITIES, BUT FOR NOW NUCLEAR ENERGY IS THE MOST VIABLE OPTION.

This comment has been around since the 70's and you would think that these folks would have twigged to the fact that the energy industry has never really made an effort to exploit renewable energy sources. The reason they are not really interested in investing in making solar/wind economically viable is that it would mean the end of their monopoly on energy. After all, if you can slap solar panels on the roof of your house, what do you need Duke Power for?

To summarize this editorial:

We haven't solved ANY of the problems related to nuclear power like waste displosal, secruity, and safety, but since nukes haven't killed anyone lately, we should go ahead and build a plant in North Carolina.

Panhandlers need code of conduct by Doug Clark (Local) - This column meanders about on the topic of panhandlers and how they should behave in a manner that makes them less troubling to society in general and Mr. Clark in particular. We learn that our hero is of that particular brand of Christian who will only perform his Christian duties to the needy if he is in a good mood, or sufficiently entertained by the antics of the needy.

Despite the great build up to a "code of conduct" for panhandlers (when was the last time anyone accosted you for money with a "pan" in their hands?), when Clark finally gets to the point, he only has two entries for the code:

1) Don't go into buildings where children are present to beg for money (How these folks are supposed to know this is not covered, but I would think that homeless individuals possessing X-ray vision or mind readings skills would not be begging on the street).

2) Don't knock on people's door late at night looking for money (sensible advice as Mr. Clark may set the dog on you).

Clark then whimsically states that if panhandlers have a "trade association" they should adopt his two rules and then he would be more inclined toward excercising Christian charity. Of course homeless people, suffering as they do from abject poverty, mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction and a host of other problems, do not have an association, nor very many advocates for their welfare. One could wonder why a local newspaper columnist might not take up such a cause, but it seems that such people have more important things to write about.

It occurs to me to wonder whether when the day arrives where Mr. Clark stands in judgement before his God, that God might not whip out this very column and read it back to him, word-for-word.

Wouldn't that be awkward?

The devolution of feminism by Kathleen Parker (Syndicated) - Feminism BAD. Feminism BAAAAAAD!

Favorite quote:

Meanwhile, when we're not bashing men, we're diminishing manhood. Look around at entertainment and other cultural signposts and you see a feminized culture that prefers sanitized men - hairless, coiffed, buffed and, if possible, gay.

Excuse me, how can you be "hairless" AND "coiffed". And doesn't being gay exclude them from a discussion of women's choice of husbands?

By the way, Parker's actual title for her column was Feminism's devolution from hoaxers to whores, but some soul with taste "castrated" the title. Probably a feminist.

We've come long way on racism by Eugene Robinson (Syndicated) - Robinson recounts visiting Rosa Parks as she lay in state in Washington, marvelling at how people of both political stripes had come to pay their respects. He ignores the harsh reality that some of those folks were crass enough to use Park's corpse as a prop in a photo op (Judge Alito, j'accuse!), so that people would forget they represented the kinds of vile people who promulgate racism today.

Yes, we have come a long way since blacks were killed by the police for trying to enter a segregated bowling alley. Today cops shoot them 20+ times for pulling out a wallet. This later is considered to be a "justified" use of force by all white investigators.

Answers to letters to the editor

Newspaper keeps good news hidden

You know, when I wrote this "good news is no news" letter, I had a hunch that it would not be printed, because it is true. I, and the majority of your readers, would prefer hearing good news. So put the bad news, if you must, in fine print in the middle of the paper, where you are now hiding the good news.

If you were known as a paper that printed the good stuff, I firmly believe that your circulation would increase, rather than decrease, as I suspect is happening now.

Tommy Cox
Greensboro

Dear Tommy:

You are an idiot.

I am fed up with this polly prissy-pants view that the world would be much better if the news media would just ignore the bad things that go on and just report the "good news".

Bad things happen in the world, and many times bad things happen to people who can't be bothered to keep track of all the bad things happening in the world. sadly it doesn't happen often enough and we keep getting letters like yours.

That said, I will agree that the news media (particularly the electronic media) seem to enjoy hyping some bad news with ghoulish delight, but that is what you get when you watch Fox, CNN,MSNBC and the rest of the All Missing White Women 24 hour networks.

While it might please you if the paper would put the bad news on the inside of the paper where it wouldn't offend your candy-assed sensibilities, this is the real world and some of us like to know what is going on. It pisses me off when I have to dig through the B section to find news of the hurricane bearing down on my house.

If you don't want to read bad news, may I suggest a subscription to The Weekly Reader?