An unsolicited answer to a lecture on patriotism

This little tidbit crossed my inbox courtesy of my wife's uncle. Since he thought so much of the issues raised to pass them along, I thought I would take the time to address each of the points raised.

The missive in question takes the form of a letter to civilians about how they can best show their support for the military, which seems to be that civilians should perpetrate acts of violence against any person, or persons, who fail to respect the military, the flag, or other tokens, symbols and ideas the writer feels deserve respect.

The letter begins as follow:

Dear Civilians,

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.

Dear Sir or Madam:

My loyalty to this nation and my patriotism are based on the actual freedoms and liberties it was founded for, and as such my allegiance (and respect) is to actual liberty, not symbols of liberty (flags, uniforms, anthems, jingoistic ideas of nationalism). I have discovered over the years that many scoundrels wear uniforms, wave flags, and sing anthems, since they know there is a segment of the population that can be counted on to follow the people doing so blindly, without question to what these people are actually DOING (see Stalin, Hitler, Pinochet, Franco, Kim Jung Il. etc).

Your directive to physically assault someone for "burning the American flag" shows a lack of understanding of what America is about, and about the concept of liberty. The burning of an American flag is, without question, a political/philosophical/moral statement, and as such, the exact kind of statement the Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech

This right, which you later rightly point out people died to attain and protect, is absolute. It protects all forms of speech, even that which we don't agree with. Anything less isn't liberty.

You seem to be confusing allowing free speech with condoning what is said. Nothing could be further from the truth. Burning a flag is at best boorish, at worst needless provocation, but it is an expression of an opinion and thus must always be protected by any who value liberty.

To support a ban on flag burning is to hold a symbol of liberty as more important than actual liberty.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all Veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

While some folks join the military out of a commendable desire to "serve their country", the truth is many don't. Many join because it is the only way to get a college degree paid for, or to gain skills which will allow them a higher paying job in civilian life. Some join because it is the only job they can get, a few because it is a way to stay out of prison.

Very few join with a desire to fight anyone, and certainly all would prefer to avoid that "dying" part, even for liberty. All would prefer to come back with their limbs and faculties intact.

That said, when called upon to fight they do serve, and some sacrifice their lives or bodies for that fight. For this, I would certainly step in and educate anyone who shows disrespect for a military veteran. This includes standing up to disrespect shown by my government when it sends soldiers to fight illegal wars, ignores their suffering when they return from the battlefield, or by persecuting them when they try to blow the whistle on criminal activity by well-connected civilian contractors.

4. (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces,' and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

While I agree that lying about your military service (or lack thereof) is vile and disrespectful to those who did serve, I am not about to perpetrate violence on persons doing so. I will, however, report them to the police, since it is a violation of the law, and seeing someone prosecuted and imprisoned for fraud is more enjoyable than "kicking their ass".

I also do not limit my attention in this matter to just men, since women serve these days as well.

5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

If I have to kick the ass of every person that asks me a stupid question in life, I will have no time to do anything else. Stupid questions are a fact of life, and becoming violent over them is rather childish. Sarcasm has always worked for me.

6. If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.

The only people I have ever heard claim that the Coast Guard were "non-military" were Sailors and Marines. Since the Coasties involved proceeded to kick their asses, I stayed out of the dispute.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

If I ever see the American flag "prance" by, I will have a word with the color guard all right, but not to thank them. Instead we will be having an extensive review of FM 22-5, and the fact that there is no "prance" command in the book.

8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

I assume you will have the same opinion on this when President Obama is your CinC, as you do now.

As to discussing politics with a military member of veteran, I will certainly do so if solicited, and refrain from such if not solicited. This is a courtesy I extend to civilians, foreign nationals, and even extra-terrestrials should the need arise.

9. "Your Mama wears Combat Boots" never made sense to me - stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could kick your ass!

Outside of World War Two era vaudeville routines, I have never heard this insult used. and even then, only as a joke.

10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!'

Again, I don't know who you are talking to, but they appear to have been frozen back in the 1950's and just revived.

11. 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

"Puddle Jumper"? I've been around military people for quite a while and have classmates who are in the Coast Guard and none of them have ever heard the term. Members of that branch refer to themselves as "Coasties" while Navy types have been known to call them "Mud Sailors". As to what you call the various members of the armed forces, context is what is important. If I say, "Send in the Grunts, they are best equipped to sort this situation out." then I doubt any member of the Army is going to get upset. If I say "What do you expect from Grunts? Good manners?" then this would be viewed as an insult, and as such I place myself at risk for an "ass kicking" from charming types such as yourself.

If you don't understand context, then I begin to understand your need to constantly resort to physical violence. To you, everything is an insult.

12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.

I am not to sure that God wants to be thanked for an instrument of destruction. And before you get your panties in a twist over that remark, the self-described purpose of the military is to "kill people and break things".

Also, you and I probably have a different view of "support our troops". To me, the greatest way I can support members of the military is to do all in my power to see they are never used for ideological reasons, never used illegally, never used in a manner which discredits the United States, never used recklessly without regard to human life (both the soldier's, civilian's AND the enemy's).

"Supporting the troops" means means proper training, proper equipment, proper education and proper medical/mental health care before AND after hostilities. It does not mean subcontracting out their essential services to private corporations whose first loyalty is to a profit margin, not our country (Say what you will about Army chow, but Army cooks NEVER served spoiled meat to soldiers, whereas Halliburton DID).

"Supporting the troops" means not debasing their reputation by placing them in theater with private mercenaries being paid 50-100 times their salary, while leaving those same troops to bear the anger of the civilian populace when the mercs start shooting up the place for kicks and giggles.

It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.'

And it is the reporter who supports the troops by reporting the truth no, matter how ugly. Who told Americans about the Pentagon's attempt to cover up Agent Orange and all the soldiers it was making sick?

Reporters.

Who told the Americans about the bad health care and filthy conditions at Walter Reed hospital?

Reporters.

Who told the Americans about the Army's deliberately exposing soldiers to radiation in the 1950's?

Reporters.

Who told the Americans about the Pentagon's failure to provide body armor to soldiers in Iraq?

Reporters.

Who told Americans about attempts to blame Abu Ghraib on soldiers in the field, when the orders to commit torture came from the Oval Office?

Reporters.

In many parts of the world, reporters have been killed for doing their job, and in the U.S. they have been threatened with arrest and imprisonment for daring to report crimes the government wanted kept secret. Reporters have been in the field with soldiers since the days of the American Revolution, sharing the risks and the hardships. To dismiss the role of a free press in a free society as subservient to the military is to display a woeful ignorance of the role of both institutions in our society.

It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

Hmmm... I guess your disdain of poetry is because you think all poets are hippy-pacifist types who have are afraid to go to war and who hold soldiers in contempt. But let me ask you, where would the military be without poets?

When my granny was 91,
She did PT just for fun.

When my granny was 92,
She ran 5 miles just like you.

When my granny was 93,
She did pushups just like me.

When my granny was 95,
She could outrun any man alive.

But when my Granny turned 96,
She did situps just for kicks.

And when my granny turned 97,
She double-timed straight up to heaven.

She met St. Peter at the pearly gate,
Said, "Gee, St. Peter I hope I'm not late."

St. Peter said with a big wide grin,
"Drop down Granny and knock out ten."


A yellow bird with a yellow bill
Was perched upon my window sill
I lured him in with a piece of bread
And then I smashed his little head


Sargeant, Sargent don't look blue,
Frankenstein was ugly too!

Airborne, airborne have you heard?
We're gonna jump from a big white bird.

If my chute don't open wide,
I've got another one at my side.

If that chute don't open too,
Move you ass I'm coming' through!

OK, Shakespeare, it ain't. but poetry it is.

And while we are on the subject of poets and the military, who do you think wrote all your patriotic anthems, Marine Hymns, and ballads such as Danny Boy, Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer, Lili Mareleen, and the Battle of New Orleans (to name but a few). It certainly wasn't Joe the Plumber. Don't get snippy with poets, they are some of your best P.R. people.

It's the Veteran, not the campus organizer,who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

And it is the campus organizer who tries to keep the government from squandering young lives on the delusions of old men fighting avoidable wars for profit and/or ego. Many soldiers who return to civilian life wind up as campus and community organizers, fighting for their brothers and sisters still at risk.

It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

Well, as you were advocating "kicking the ass" of anyone who burns the flag, why should this person be happy for a right you are prepared to use violence to deny him. You can't expect people to appreciate someone's sacrifice for a right you personally wish to suppress by force.

Also, while war casualties fall heavily on soldiers (hey, that's what they signed up for, remember?), it has also spilled over onto civilians many times, and civilians suffer far more as a result of military actions than soldiers. If you don't believe me, ask the residents of places like Honolulu, Dresden, Paris, Nanking, Baghdad, London, Warsaw, Hiroshima and Nagasaki whether soldiers are the only ones to die in war.

Your central point here, again, seems to be the flag. Saluting it, serving under it, and been buried with it. You know, flags are replaceable, people aren't. If it is all the same to you, I would prefer we do less flag saluting, and spend more time talking to the people we share the planet with. People with a fetish for flags speak of "noble sacrifices", "honorable service", "valiant acts", but the truth is, pretty words can't hide an ugly reality. Little girls don't want "noble sacrifices", they want their daddies. Husbands don't give a rat's ass about "honorable services", they simply want their wives to come home, safe and whole. And most mother's would be happy if the only "valiant acts" there sons committed were remembering to send them a card on Mother's Day.

No one disagrees that war is sometimes unavoidable. To give one's life selflessly in defense of the defenseless is truly noble. To give one's life for corporate profit and/or political ego is an abomination. Corrupt leaders know this, which is why they always dress up the latter as the former. Doing so keeps the supply of fodder for the war machine steady, and allows these despicable people to use the soldiers they are endangering and the families of the dead to attack the patriotism of any who speak the truth.

13. If you ever see anyone either standing for, or singing the national anthem in Spanish -

KICK THEIR ASS.

I'm sure your Latino comrades in arms will be happy about this one.

Sorry, but while most of this screed could be excused as ignorance, this last bit is simply racist.

In conclusion, I stand a chance of being ridiculed for not "getting the joke", since the mitigating premise offered for this list will be that it was a "joke". Personally, I have never found ignorance funny, and this list demonstrated an unfortunate quantity. The purpose of this list was to belittle and intimidate those who supposedly "oppose" the military, and/or are insufficiently patriotic. It does so by taking superficial snapshots of complex issues, and elevating and venerating the trivial (flags) over the important (life). Real patriotism is not about trite lists appealing to people's baser instincts, it is about sober, careful and deliberate thought; the same kind of thought that the Founding Fathers put into the documents that are the core principles of this nation. These documents talk about the rights and duties of men to each other and to their country. Flags, what language the national anthem is sung in, who gets to wear what uniform, what to call a Marine, the political affiliation of Osama bin-Laden, soldier's discussing politics, and the need to thank God for the military are never mentioned.